Col. Jessep: You want answers?
Kaffee: I think I’m entitled.
Col. Jessep: You want answers?
Kaffee: I want the truth.
Col. Jessep: You can’t handle the truth.

- A Few Good Men

Quick story from earlier in the week, while I remember.

We were standing in the Jewel Bar – Robert and me – enjoying a post-pub quiz drink. The Jewel is that most vexing of things; an overpriced dive bar. Just off Piccadilly and full of tourists and people who think they’re a cut above Cheers! and Tiger Tiger. So when a man in full US Naval dress uniform strolls in – chest full of medals and a white hat in his hand – your eyes are naturally drawn.

No doubt about it, we were in the presence of a con man and as a responsible citizen, I had a duty to act. I mean, the guy was convincing. He certainly had Robert fooled. “I have to say, it’s a convincing looking uniform.” Well, of course it’s convincing – this man’s a pro; probably out to fleece some poor girl on a hen night – or, worse, a lonely widow. Over we go.

Some basic checks – Rob asks a couple of trivia questions about the US Navy and its history. He passed those; clearly done his research. Next some questions about the US Election – Rudy Giuliani? A friend of his, apparently. Please. Ok – ID – a business card that looked like it had been knocked up on a vending machine. Maybe not such a pro after all. Anything else?

Diplomatic passport.

Ooh.

And that’s how I accused Rear Admiral Mark Kenny – the US Navy commander, center for counter terrorism – of being a two-bit conman.

Nice chap, actually. Shame about the Giuliani thing.