Be careful what you wish for, right?
In my Guardian column this week I challenged the Evening Standard’s Nick Curtis to try Twitter - properly - for a week, in the hope that he’d reconsider his opinion of it.
I also hoped it might act as a useful primer for anyone else who has tried unsuccessfully to explain to friends why they should send 140 character updates on every tiny detail of their lives.
What I didn’t anticipate was quite how well it would work. Not only has Nick Curtis agreed to give Twittering a go for a week, but about a billion other people have messaged or emailed me to say that they’ve going to try it too.
So now I feel responsible. My inbox is full of emails all asking the same question - who should I follow? And I want to help - I really do - but my fingers hurt from sending Direct Messages.
So who should new users follow?
The whole point of Twitter is that you should follow your friends. Real people in the real world who you already know. Really. That’s the fast-track to Twitter addiction. That’s how you end up being invited to spontaneous parties and find yourself getting on a plane to Las Vegas with no real idea what’s waiting for you when you arrive. And that’s why it’s every new Twitter user’s duty to encourage everyone they know in the real world to sign up.
And yet, and yet... of course not everyone has existing friends on Twitter. Every friendship group has an early adopter and if that’s you who are you supposed to follow to get the hang of how it all works?
Well you should follow me, obviously. I’m brilliant. That’s a given. But who else?
If you ask technology people, they’ll tell you to follow people like Scoble or Arrington or Winer. For sure, they are the Twitter elite - with tens of thousands of followers each - but, seriously, which normal person gives a shit what they have to say? In what way are they representative of the riches Twitter has to offer?
No one. And in no way.
So...?
So, I’ve spent a few minutes putting together an alternative Elite list - one that still contains well known Twitterers (people are popular for a reason, after all) but which also comprises of people who demonstrate the various ways in which Twitter can be used.
And so here it is - my totally biased, personal and subjective list of the people I’d recommend every new user who doesn’t already know anyone on Twitter should follow first.
You might totally disagree, and you’re totally welcome to go fuck yourself. Or you can let me know your recommended First Followers via Twitter - @paulcarr - and I’ll add them to a future post.
1. The Institution
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Stephen Fry Why: A British living legend, knower of all things, Oscar Wilde scholar and former Hugh Laurie collaborator. Describes himself as a ‘dancer, couturier, superheavyweight boxer, neo-plasticist and rapper’. Actually uses Twitter properly, to discuss everything from what he’s having for lunch, to how awesome technology can be, to how sinister priests are. Useful tip for followers: He doesn’t like to be hassled to do work stuff over Twitter. Dial down the fanboy stuff. Typical Twitter: “Barber has pix of him cutting Cary Grant & Bill Clinton’s hair. Felt unworthy & told him so. “No, no. You make the top 100,” he said. LOL” Not to be confused with: John Cleese |
2. The 90s Superstar, Turned Noughties Geek
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MC Hammer Why: Not only is he the celebrity who most regularly responds to @replies but, come on... he’s MC fucking Hammer. Useful tip for followers: Prefers to be called just ‘Hammer’ now. Typical Twitter: “Top 5 to do today. 1.Uncle’s Funeral 2. rehearse for YouTube Live.. 3. hit the gym 4. meet with FullBlast artist 5. Pray for President Elect“ Not to be confused with: Wil Wheaton |
3. The Expert, After A Fashion
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John Hodgman Why: A Daily Show regular - and a regular daily show off; Hodgman knows everything about everything and isn’t afraid to Twitter it. Useful tip for followers: John Hodgman is a PC. Typical Twitter: “I don’t know if I get the Obama Doctrine, but maybe it’s because I was twittering.” Not to be confused with: Penn Jillette |
4. The Writer Girl Who Could Probably Kick Your Ass
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Zoe Margolis Why: Better known as The Girl With A One Track Mind, Zoe is a renowned sex blogger and author but on Twitter is far more likely to be heard wanking over her N95. Useful tip for followers: Easy on the Direct Messages. She’s almost certainly not going to sleep with you. Typical Twitter: “I’m watching Fight Club (again). Half-naked, sweaty men, fighting: I know I’m not the only woman who sees it as soft porn.“ Not to be confused with: Diablo Cody |
5. The CEO of Twitter
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Evan Williams Why: Because joining Twitter and not following @ev is like arriving late to a party, ignoring the host and punching his dog. Useful tip for followers: Don’t mention Odeo. Typical Twitter: “Anyone know the woman’s name who runs the Citizen Cake Kiosk? I feel we’ve progressed past the point in our relationship where I can ask.“ Not to be confused with: Jack Dorsey |
6. The Comic Book Writer
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Warren Ellis Why: A leading British comic book writer and solid comedy Twitterer. Hates the Welsh. Useful tip for followers: Don’t be Welsh. Typical Twitter: “Very tempted to spend tonight just drinking German beer until I fall over and (attractively) wet myself. Like real writers do.” Not to be confused with: An artist |
7. The Academic
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Jay Rosen Why: A lecturer in journalism at NY University, Rosen also runs a PressThink, a ‘weblog about journalism and its ordeals’. Tells journalists as they is. Useful tip for followers: Leave the Bush / Cheney ‘04 bumper sticker at home. Typical Twitter: “I think liberals and movement conservatives might be headed for a moment of harmonic bliss. Both want to see Palin as the Republican future.“ Not to be confused with: Lawrence Lessig |
8. The Egotist Entrepreneur
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Jason Calacanis Why: With over 42,000 followers, Jason is a confirmed member of the Twitter Elite. If you want a masterclass on how to use Twitter for self-promotion, he’s your man. He’s also CEO of human powered search engine, Mahalo so expect lots of links to that, as well as updates about his amazing adventures in business. Oh and lots of photos of his dogs. Which you must comment on right now. Useful tip for followers: You are under no actual obligation to comment on photographs of his dogs. Typical Twitter: “JasonNation: Email me the best burger joint in san francisco right now! Pls send address and reviews.“ Not to be confused with: Kevin Rose |
9. The Hot Hack
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Sarah Lacy Why: Probably the best-connected journalist in Silicon Valley, Sarah 2.0 literally wrote the book on the guys behind Twitter (and Facebook... and MySpace...) Oh, and Playboy chose her as one of their ten hottest bloggers. Pick a reason. Useful tip for followers: Ask her about her book. Bring Champagne. Typical Twitter: “Sad that friends have started to put “don’t twitter this” in the subject line of personal emails! Am I that bad?“ Not to be confused with: Natali Del Conte |
10. The Lifecaster
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Justine ‘iJustine’ Ezariki Why: By blogging, videoing and Twittering every aspect of her life, iJustine has quickly become one of the most famous lifecasters on the web. I would say she’s the new Jennicam, but if you know who Jennicam is then you’ve probably been using Twitter since 1986 and you really don’t need this list. Useful tip for followers: If you’re wondering where all the exclamation marks have gone, they’re on her Twitter feed. Typical Twitter: “Going for a run! I haven’t eaten candy in like 3 days! That’s a record.” Not to be confused with: Julia Allison |
11. The Robot
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BBC News Why: Increasingly, news organisations are using Twitter to announce when they publish a breaking news story. It’s 95% annoying but, for the 5% of the time when a huge story is developing - the Mumbai terror attacks being a good recent example - these Twitter robots can really add something to the chatter. Follow sparingly. Useful tip for followers: It’s not a real person. It can’t hear you. Typical Twitter: “Canadian PM bids to avoid defeat: Canadian PM Stephen Harper is set to seek the suspension of parliament to a...” ZZzzzz... Not to be confused with: New York Times |
12. The... What...? Seriously... He’s On Twitter?
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Shaquille O’Neal Because you don’t have to give a shit about basketball to love a man who wakes up from a nap and Twitters “The giant has awoken lets get ready to rumble” See also: Greg Grunberg (Heroes), Questo (The Roots) Andy Murray (Tennis), Dave Matthews (The __ Band), Jonathan Ross (Not the BBC)... |
...any more? Message me on Twitter - @paulcarr