Sarah Bee and I were discussing The Friday Thing the other day.

Specifically we were discussing how, whenever an important or hilarious news story happens, we feel a pang of – something – that TFT doesn’t exist to make inappropriate jokes about it. I’m sure most of the Thing’s former writers feel the same way at times.

Spurred by that sense of nostalgia (we’d have had a ball with the US election), and encouraged by yesterday’s effort to bring together all of my old Guardian stuff, I decided to bite the bullet and compile all of the back issues of TFT – five years’ worth – into a single gigantic downloadable PDF. Just so I had them all in one place that wasn’t a mySQL database dump on an old Zip drive.

And, given that almost all of the individual articles have been freely available online for ages (as were the issue archives until last year), I thought I might as well make the document available to download under a Creative Commons licence.

Some fascinating statistics. In total, we published…

7418 A4 pages worth of text

2,320,134 words (including 2620 fucks but only 376 cunts)

We also had a great team of writers, including contributions from the likes of Ricky Gervais and Jimmy Carr before they were… well… you know. Oh, and for most of TFT’s life, we charged a subscription fee – so we actually made money from the thing.

It’s fascinating too to look back at the issue titles and try to remember what each of them was referring to. Even now I wince at few of the more risky ones, remembering the discussions and arguments over where the line was, and how far over it we should leap.

When Nicholas Berg was kidnapped and mundered in Iraq and the video put on youtube, our issue that week was called ‘The Clip Of The Iced Berg Issue’, and when Brazillian electrician Jean-Charles De Menezes was wrongfully killed by police in London, we had ‘The Brazillian Whacked Issue’. It’s not entirely surprising that we got complaints.

Those Friday Thing Issue Titles In Full…

The 20 Year Itch Issue
The Absolutely Extraordinary Issue
The Accidental Music Special Issue
The Ace In The Hole Special Issue
The Ain’t Getting On No Plane, Fool Issue
The All New For 2002 Issue
The Anti-Social Behaviour Issue
The Anticipatory Defence Issue
The Are You There, George? It’s Me, God Issue
The Argy Bhaji Issue
The Ban Prescott Issue
The Barking Mad Issue
The Bathroom Break Issue
The Be Our Guest Issue
The Be Right Back Issue
The Be Very Afraid Issue
The Bedtime For Bozo Issue
The Big Fat Christmas Issue
The Black And White Issue
The Blacking Up Is Hard To Do Issue
The Blew His Brains Out In A Car Issue
The Blind Faith Issue
The Boldly Going Forwards Issue
The Born On The Fourth Of July Issue
The Brave New World Issue
The Break A Leg, Wayne Issue
The Burning Issue
The C***ing F*** Issue
The Causes Of Crime Issue
The Change Of Heart Issue
The Cherie and the Buckshees Issue
The Children Indeed Issue
The Chimp In A Zoo-Cage Issue
The Christopher Price Issue
The Class C Issue
The Clever Boy Issue
The Clip Of The Iced Berg Issue
The Clone Danger Issue
The Come Fly The Friendly Skies Issue
The Concealed Erin Issue
The Concealment, Deception and Intimidation Issue
The Cooking The Books Issue
The Could Do Better Issue
The Couldn’t Make It Up Issue
The Counting Down Issue
The Country Called Europe Issue
The Cult Classic, Not Best Seller Issue
The Currieing Favour Issue
The Deal or No Deal Issue
The Deep Background Issue
The Despondent Tree Issue
The Diggi Loo – Diggi Ley Issue
The Ding Dong The Bells Are Gonna Chime Issue
The Do Not Pass Go Issue
The Don’t Bash the Bishop Issue
The Don’t Know Much About History Issue
The Don’t Mention The War Issue
The Don’t You Dare Forget Issue
The Double Header Issue
The Duck Politics Issue (Filter safe)
The Ducking Donald Issue
The Ducking Donald Issue
The Dumb Britain Issue
The Eats Shoots and Leaves Issue
The Edinburgh Rock Issue
The Eighty More Years Issue
The Electric Blunkett Issue
The Enough Already Issue
The Extreme Issue
The Failure Of Imagination Issue
The Fat Tongue And Spindle Issue
The Fife Swans A-Dying Issue
The First Birthday Issue
The Fizz Bang Issue
The Fluffy Bunny Issue
The Football’s Going Home Issue
The Force Majeure Issue
The Four More Years Issue
The Free For All Issue
The Free To Offend Issue
The Friendly Fire Issue
The Fuck Politics Issue
The Funniest Day of the Year Issue
The Game Over Issue
The Get Out and Walk, Donald Issue
The Get With The Project Issue
The God Bless You, Joel Bailey Issue
The God Is My Spin Doctor Issue
The God Save The Queen Issue
The Going For Gold Issue
The Goodbye From Us Issue
The Goodbye Mr Crips Issue
The Got, Got, Need, Got Issue
The Guilty As Charged Issue
The Hamas Celebrity Issue
The Hammer Time Issue
The Hand On Heart Issue
The Happiest Day of the Year Issue
The Happy And Glorious Issue
The Happy Christmas (War Is Coming) Issue
The Have I Got Herpes For You Issue
The Here We Mo Again
The Hey, Celebrities, Leave Those Kids Alone Issue
The Hi Ho Silvio, Away Issue
The Hooking Up Issue
The Hoovering Damned Issue
The Hope Springs Eternal Issue
The Hot Under The Collar Issue
The Huggy Blair Issue
The Hysterical Issue
The Incitement and Fomentation Issue
The Irwin Some, Lose Some Issue
The Jabba The Slut Issue
The Jack of Nein Veils Issue
The Jesus Wept Issue
The Jowell of Denial Issue
The Killed Kenny Issue
The Killer Wales Issue
The Last Ever Free Issue
The Last Ever Issue
The Laughing in the Face of Terror Issue
The Lay Down Issue
The Laymorz Issue
The Lebanon and On Issue
The Lembit on the Side Issue
The Less Is More In 2004 Issue
The Let’s Hunt and Kill George W Bush Issue
The Lies Damn Lies Issue
The Links To Al-Qaeda Issue
The Listen Very Carefully Issue
The Littlest Homo Issue
The Lleyton Hewitt Is A Racist Issue
The Lock Up Your Paediatricians Issue
The Lonely This Christmas Issue
The Look Who’s Back Issue
The Looking Forward Issue
The Loony Toons Issue
The Lost Leader Issue
The Madonna Is Pregnant Issue
The Man In The Mirror Issue
The Man With The Golden Balls Issue
The Measles Wobble Issue
The Media Horlicks Issue
The Mein Kamp Issue
The Mental Israel Issue
The Mini Monday Issue
The Mistakes on a Plane Issue
The Money For Old Rape Issue
The Moral Equivalence Issue
The More Terror, Vicar Issue
The Morecambe Unwise Issue
The Morning After Issue
The Moving In, Shipping Out Issue
The Mysterious Ways Issue
The Naked and Shameless Issue
The Nazi Schmazi Issue
The Never Stop Thinking Issue
The Newark Anagram Issue
The Night Of The Living Dead Issue
The Nil By Mouth Issue
The No Jokes About Jackson Issue
The No Mo’ Mo Issue
The No Scrubs Issue
The No Tickets For Tearists Issue
The Not Crucially Important Issue
The Not Just For Christmas Issue
The Not Very Reverend Issue
The Nothing More To Add Issue
The Nothing To Report Issue
The Now More Than Ever Issue
The Nuclear Holy Turtles Issue
The Obeying Holy Orders Issue
The Of Rice and Ken Issue
The Once Bitten Issue
The One Good Eye Issue
The One Track Mind Issue
The Only Obeying Orders Issue
The Onwards And Upwards Issue
The Open House Issue
The Orlando Bloom Has Lovely Eyes Issue
The Out Damned Spot Issue
The Over-Egged Issue
The Passed Best Issue
The Peer Pressure Issue
The Phew Rory Issue
The Pick A Pocket Or Two Issue
The Pint Of Pig Issue
The Political Couch Potato Issue
The Poodle Men Issue
The Poor Old Boris Issue
The Poor Old Cain Issue
The Poor Old Kylie Issue
The Post Traumatic Issue
The Pot Pourri Issue
The Prince Charles Is Homosexual Issue
The Prince Charming Issue
The Proper Charlie Issue
The Putin the Boot In Issue
The Queen Mother Special
The Quit Playing Games With My Heart Issue
The Quit While You’re Ahead Issue
The Reasonable Doubt Issue
The Review of the Year 2005
The Review of the Year 2006
The Review Of The Year Issue
The Review Of The Year Issue 2003
The Review Of The Year Issue 2004
The Right Ho Jeeves Issue
The Right Royal Rapist Issue
The Rivers Of Blood Issue
The Rove to Ruin Issue
The Runny Chickens Issue
The Sack It And See Issue
The Salt And Sauce Issue
The Say Something, Lib Dems Issue
The Sense of Displacement Issue
The September 11th Special
The Seven Seven Special Issue
The Short But Sweary Issue
The Shouting Thomas Issue
The Show Must Go On Issue
The Shut Up And Be Free Issue
The Situation Norman Issue
The Smallpox On All Our Houses Issue
The Smell Like Jesus Issue
The Smoke Without Fire Issue
The Smoking Burrell Issue
The So Here It Is Issue
The Sold Out Issue
The Special Guest Issue
The Spring Forward, Fall Back Issue
The St. Valentine’s Day Massacre Issue
The Stay Lucky Issue
The Stormy Weather Issue
The Strip of Granite Issue
The Suck It And See Issue
The Suicide Shape Issue
The Take It On The Chin Issue
The Take My Wife, Please Issue
The Tell It To The Hand Issue
The Tell Laura You Love Her Issue
The Terrible Events Issue
The Thatch Me If You Can Issue
The Them And Us Issue
The Think It’s All Rover Issue
The Tornado Schmornado Issue
The Tragedy Plus Time Issue
The Trammel Up The Consequence Issue
The Truth and Claw Issue
The Twinkle Twinkle Hezbollah Issue
The Two Down Issue
The Two Point Four Nonces Issue
The Un-American Issue
The Under The Weather Issue
The Unintentionally Sweary Issue
The Unlucky For Some Issue
The Up Against It Issue
The Up In Arms Issue
The Up In Smoke Issue
The Up In Smoke Issue
The Violence and Nudity Issue
The Viva Exploitation Issue
The Vote Early, Vote Often Issue
The Wash Your Mouth Out Issue
The Washington Sniper Special
The Waylaid by Wade Issue
The We Ain’t Never Gonna Be Respectable Issue
The We Are All Made Of SARS Issue
The Weapons Of Mass Destruction Issue
The Welcome Home, Democracy Issue
The What About Milly Issue
The Wheel Of Misfortune Issue
The Who Knew Issue
The Who’s Your Daddy Issue
The Will Everyone Please Stop Getting Shot? Issue
The Worth Waiting For Issue
The Would Like To Meat Issue
The Yasser, I Can Boogie Issue
The You Booze, You Lose Issue