When (if) I get back to the UK, I think I need to get a subscription to Heat magazine. Perhaps then I can stop doing stuff like this...

Me (to Claire’s friend): “Nice to meet you. I’m Paul”

Her: “You too. I’m June.”

Me: “Oh, you’re English.”

Her: “Yes, but I’ve moved to LA now.”

Me: “Oh, cool, what do you do there?”

Her: “I work in television.”

Me: “Hmmm. That’s a pretty broad job description.”

Her: “Well, I present television.”

Me: “Oh, ok.”

Half an hour later

Me: “Claire’s friend June looks like...”

Scott: “June Sarpong.”

Me: “Oh. Yeah.”

First Kate Bosworth, now June Sarpong. She’s delightful, by the way, June.
...

So, Web Mission 08 has kicked off - there are a zillion Brits in town and everyone is partying like it’s 1999 2.0. Much to Oli’s delight, I have taken it upon myself to create the unofficial blog for the event, packed with all the stuff that he is too cowardly responsible to put on the official site. You can find the blog at webmission.blogspot.com but for easiness and laziness, I’ll be cross-posting everything here. Starting with today’s introductory post which starts...

...now...

Even before I asked Oli Barrett whether he would mind me writing the Unofficial Web Mission blog I knew he would think it was a great idea. But just to be on the safe side, I thought I’d better register the Blogger address first.

So welcome, then, to Web Mission Unofficial - your go-to spot for the real story on Web Mission 08.

Tonight’s kick off event was a two parter - the first part an invitation-only meet and greet for Web Missioners, with canapes and Champagne sponsored by Techcrunch. As with everything that ever happens in the world, the event was Qikked by Paul Walsh. If nothing else, do watch the first minute or so of the video - if only to enjoy Oli’s headmaster act. “Remember: the coaches will leave when they say they’re going to leave so if you’re no on them, we’ll assume you’ve made your own transport plans.” Very John Cleese in Clockwork.

Also, make sure you check out Techcrunch interviewing Techcrunch about Techcrunch. You want meta? Mike’ll give you meta. And when he inevitably blogs about it, the entire world will implode.

The second event - for everyone this time, not just the chosen few - was the drinks reception downstairs at the Clift: in the world’s most expensive hotel bar. This event, perhaps unsurprisingly, was not sponsored. There’s an irony in the fact that, with bottle service starting at $375 for a mid-range Vodka, drinking at Web Mission 08 could possibly end up bankrupting the entire UK start-up community.

Fortunately Bhaskar Roy from Qik stepped in to save the day, sponsoring a table and ensuring that there was enough vodka for everyone, giving us just another reason to love Qik. (Although frankly, given the fact that Walshy has been working as a one-man unpaid PR machine for Qik for the last three months, it was the least he could do. For the same reason, perhaps Twitter might sponsor the next bottle).

Finally, those of the group who hadn’t succumbed to jet lag made their way on to the streets in search of an after party. And indeed one was found, in the form of Le Colonial - a club that is as cheesy as the Clift is expensive. Words like ‘train wreck’, ‘unbelievably awful’ and ‘I feel like a teenager again’ could almost be heard over the booming music and the DJ constantly appealing for us to ‘make some noise’. This in the noisiest club in the universe. If he wanted to make an appreciable difference, he should have shouted “make some quiet”.

For the sake of those entrepreneurs with reputations to protect, what happens in Le Colonial must stay in Le Colonial but I’ll leave you with the following picture of Recommend Box’s Scott Rutherford which sums up the end of the night better than anything I could write. More pictures are on Flickr.

Tomorrow: brunch and barbecue.

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