Not Safe For Work

Episode Thirty Three: We’ve come on holiday by mistake

In which I pack up my laptop and head to the first ever Butlins’ social media ‘tweetup’ (yuck).

Episode Thirty Two: And we’ll tweet at the end of the tour

In which I attend Jeff Pulver’s 140 Characters conference and pay tribute to the brilliance of his no-connectivity plan.

Episode Thirty One: Walking down the red carpet of shame

In which I attend the Webby Awards, like the pathetic fanboy whore that I am.

Episode Thirty: I’m like Moses, but for Twitter

In which an earth-shatteringly annoying viral game forces me to lay down 10 Commandments for my Twitter followers.

Episode Twenty Nine: The truth at Last

In which I’m reminded that, while comment is free, facts can be a real pain in the arse.

Episode Twenty Eight: A man of slightly fewer words

In which an otherwise-amusing keyboard mishap happens just in time to stop me hurling four-letter words at a very deserving Attorney General.

Episode Twenty Seven: The road to hell is paved with gold

In which I’m inspired by a popcorn sponsor to launch an investment fund that will bring about the destruction of society.

Episode Twenty Six: And now a word from my sponsors

In which I decide there’s no sense fighting the future, especially when there’s a beach house at stake.

Episode Twenty Five: Here we are now, entertain us

In which a live piano performance that had to be seen to be believed restores my faith in reality.

Episode Twenty Four: Operation Fail Whale

In which I share my predictions for the brave new web-enabled iRaq 2.0.

Episode Twenty Three: Fool disclosure

In which a meeting with the Irish Tánaiste leads to a stolen bottle of Guinness and a lesson in handling the truth.

Episode Twenty Two: No use crying over spilt ink

In which I comfort the fat crying girl of the newspaper industry, before pushing her down the stairs.

Episode Twenty One: The British are coming

In which Webmission 2009 arrives in San Francisco, spelling good news for everything but my liver.

Episode Twenty: Viva la app app revolution

In which my attempts to confirm a hunch about the future of paid content result in a HumVee, a fight and a pocket full of beer.

Episode Nineteen: Beware of geeks bearing nuclear tacos

In which I visit SXSWi in Austin, and find a conference that’s got far too big for its cowboy boots.

Episode Eighteen: Forty-one lines about 50 states

In which I finally relocate to America and get all of the obligatory trite observations out of the way in one go.

Episode Seventeen: The column I wasn’t supposed to write

In which I reflect on this week’s tragic events in Verbier and examine whether the media are wrong to dwell on the role of Twitter.

Episode Sixteen: At Last, a brilliant example of how not to deal with journojism

In which I witnesses the fight between Last.fm and Techcrunch and can’t decide who to be more disappointed with.

Episode Fifteen: The git that keeps on giving

in which I fail to contain my irritation with the techno-trolls who let fear get in the way of a good cause.

Episode Fourteen: Always look on the bright side of total and humiliating failure

in which I realise that, for an expert in dot com failure, the recession is a seller’s market.

Episode Thirteen: Chicken, bacon … some lettuce if you have it; and hold the inspiration

in which I find myself inside Tim Robbins’ body, paralysed by writer’s block and hurtling towards the pavement of despair.

Episode Twelve: If you can’t say anything nice, kill yourself

in which I decide to stop the hate before somebody gets hurt.

Episode Eleven: Hanging out at the corner of Hope and Obama

in which I’m torn about having to leave the US just as things are starting to get interesting

Episode Ten: Tears and loafing in Las Vegas

In which I’m obliged to stand at the feet of my nemesis while he sings the song I most fear.

Episode Nine: After all is done and said, pretty soon we’ll all be dead

In which I go on the run from the law, and end up at Macworld.

Episode Eight: New Year, old jokes and the insincerest form of hackery

In which It’s New Year’s Eve.

Episode Seven: Taking stock, eating puffins, Counting Crows

In which It’s two days before the winter solstice, there are four hours of sunlight, it’s minus three outside and they eat puffins. Yeah – I’m in Iceland for the nature.

Episode Six: Paul Carr is away

In which, due to an administrative fuck up, I have to file a postcard from Iceland instead…

Episode Five: Freezing cold, no internet, boring: it’s a French web 2.0 conference!

In which I visit LeWeb in Paris and suggest a bold solution to some French dissing by the USA…

Episode Four: We are all on Twitter, but some of us are talking to the stars

In which I challenge the Evening Standard’s film critic to try Twitter for a week, or to shut the fuck up…

Episode Three: Full of sand and furries, signifying nothing

In which I liken Second Life to Blackpool in February, and call its users ‘fat American adulterers to a man’…

Episode Two: Wham, bam, thank you Yang

In which Jerry Yang leaves Yahoo! and I accuse him of biting the head off an owl…

Episode One: Mountain Dew and Provigil, Asperger’s and other real secrets of Silicon Valley

In which Sarah Lacy comes to London and I take the opportunity to explain how London can become the new Silicon Valley…


2003-2005…

Media Guardian

Publish and be spammed (Friday Project launch)

Don’t publish and be doomed (Google Print)

Back off Brussels - leave our web alone (EU moves to police internet content)

The game with no aim (Perplexcity)

It makes no sense to try to censor (ASA’s attempts to censor online ads)
(Plus: letter from the ASA saying I was wrong)

The bloggers shall inherit the Gonzo (Hunter S. Thompson, RIP)

A star’s best friend - the official website (Michael Jackson’s website)

Britain - the land of telephony Luddites (BT’s VoIP sluggishness)

BBC cuts - another thing I don’t need (BBC Moving to Manchester)

Will UK politics ever wake up to the web?

Why Branson’s cool idea leaves me cold (Virgin’s music site)

Next time read the bloggers, Dan (Dan Rather vs The Bloggers)

Why bloggers are good for profits

How che3p Vi3gra is killing e-publishing

The terrifying power of the bloggers

The battlelines are drawn in Blogistan (Denton vs Calacanis)

Ignoring the net? That’s really nuts (The launch of Zoo and Nuts without online support)

Why Drudge is bad for online journalism

One day we’ll all be reading e-papers

You can write but you can’t hide (192.com and my nutjob stalker)

Hey pop ups, why don’t you pop off? (I hate pop-ups)

Let’s have another boom not a Boo (Here comes Web 2.0)

How to get the yoof interested in politics

Ashamed of my TV deal? Not a chance (Web people moving to old media)

Why Google should stop being so ‘evil’ (Google’s weird terms of service)

Online lesson for Arnie (Online and the art of oversharing)

Memo to all music PRs: get a clue (BMG’s embarrasing attempts to spam TFT)

Can’t spot a spoof? Meet Google… (Tom Watson vs Private Eye)

Why only fools and children use portals (Lycos’ clueless attempts to rebrand)

Mickey aims to sink the pirates (The super-fast Internet, and how it might be bad for piracy)

Show e-pirates some respect… (Sony’s film download service and its dumb DRM)

Blogging’s too good for them (Why splitting blogs from Google’s main index is a terrible idea)

Let’s hear it for the bloggers (The awesomeness of Snowmail)

Get your coat Salon, you’ve failed (Salon’s financial woes)

Some bad news for Hoxton’s finest (Why all professional viral videos are shit)

Read all about it! [on the internet first] (Scooping Heat magazine for fun and profit)