Since I’ve been gone you’ve been lost without a trace /You dream at night you can only see my face /You look around but it’s me you can’t replace…

This was actually an idea that we - myself, Robert, Scott, Michelle, Alex and some others - came up with in San Francisco, but which stalled when we realised that none of us had the musical talent to pull it off. Which is a shame, as it could be brilliant. A perfect candidate, then, for part three of my long-running series, Brilliant Ideas For Other People.

The idea is simple: an album of self-love songs for sufferers of narcissistic personality disorder. A double CD set (of course) - featuring covers of classic romantic tracks, but with the lyrics tweaked to fuel the ego of the singer, rather than the sung about.

Here’s the track listing of CD 1….

1. I’m so vain (I probably think this song is about me, don’t I?)

2. Close to me (Why do birds suddenly appear, everytime I am near…?)

3. Something stupid (Like you love me)

4. The way I look tonight

5. Have you told me lately?

6. Everything you do (you do it for me)

7. You will always love me

8. Every breath I take (you’ll be watching me)

9. Every little thing I do is magic

10. I’m the one that you want.

11. I don’t bring you flowers

12. Ave me

All the idea needs is a track listing for CD 2 and a decent covers band to put it together. I think it could be a hit. I mean, I’d buy it.

So - there you go, help yourself. I’ve even made you the cover (larger version). Just send me a copy when it’s done.

Related Reading

Steph goes Street
""Until Robert explained to me what a haiku was, I thought you'd just written something shit in the front of my book to be mean." - Stephanie Lovely Stephanie. Outside the Spiegeltent. Saturday. Is there anything funnier than when posh...\\

Paul meets Robert Loch
""Being the first ‘Rong’s’ event, the party promised to be a hell of a night. The sort of night that, had Caligula been hosting a networking event downstairs, he’d have probably come up to ask us to keep it down...\\

Paul meets Robert Loch
""Being the first ‘Rong’s’ event, the party promised to be a hell of a night. The sort of night that, had Caligula been hosting a networking event downstairs, he’d have probably come up to ask us to keep it down...\\