Hey ho, another job, another firing. As you may have heard, the Guardian has dropped my Not Safe For Work column. Budget reasons.

Initially I mooted the idea of carrying on writing for free until the economics started to look better but, yunno, the more I thought about it, the more I realised that would be a bad idea.

The truth of the matter is, I’m rubbish at writing for free. You only have to look at how infrequently this blog is updated, and how badly it is when it is, to see the problem. Without the motivating factor of ‘valuable consideration’ (as our legal friends would put it) and the feeling that I need to provide something of equal or grateful value in return, I tend to get even more slapdash than usual – with deadlines, with quality, with everything. I’m all too aware that I have a book to write, and a chunk of W&N’s money sitting in my bank account to remind me of the fact. Writing stuff for free when I have that promise hanging over me seems unreasonable at best, uncontractual at worse. Also, I’m greedy and on the few occasions I do a day’s work – which the column was – I like to get paid for it. No sense in pretending otherwise.

Having said all that, I will miss the outlet the Guardian gave me every week; to boast and swear and talk about things that were on my mind. I’m not sure there’s another UK paper that would give me such freedom – and for that reason I’ll be eternally grateful to my former paymasters. And I’ll miss them, like a sometimes-mental, socialist former girlfriend.

Flatteringly, since Twittering the news of my most recent parting of ways I’ve had a few interesting offers – both online and off – which would allow me to continue the column. I’ve dismissed a few, shortlisted a handful and am seriously interested in maybe three. I’m not going to rush into anything – this feels like a great opportunity to really break the back of the new book for a start – but I’ll probably have something to announce soon.

Meantime, I really appreciate – and I mean this – all the kind words people have said about the column. I don’t believe most of them, but they’re nice to hear nonetheless.

More from me, somewhere, somehow, soon. But first – lunch.