“I’m delighted the Mail brought this matter to our attention so soon after it was broadcast so we could take action. I would never have known about the distasteful antics of those two hairy bullies otherwise.” - Doreen, Dorset, Daily Mail Online comments.

Imagine a few days ago you’d handed me a pen and asked me [...]

This is brilliant. Written and directed by Charles Stone III who also wrote and directed the original Budweiser Wassup ad (and the short film that inspired it)...

Sarah Bee and I were discussing The Friday Thing the other day.
Specifically we were discussing how, whenever an important or hilarious news story happens, we feel a pang of - something - that TFT doesn’t exist to make inappropriate jokes about it. I’m sure most of the Thing’s former writers feel the same way at [...]

“If I’d learned anything from the thinkofthechildren incident - and I hadn’t - it’s that one man’s ‘trademark satirical style’ is another man’s first-class ticket to the dock, something I proved again and again at the Guardian, to the growing despair of my editor... What I’d overlooked is that, in the English legal system, making [...]

Not drinking has its benefits, but also its downsides. And the best example of the latter, it seems, is increased productivity.
A whole week of early starts, back to back meetings, and not even a trace of a hangover as an excuse to sack them off. How on earth am I supposed to find time to [...]

...told me yesterday that I’m not allowed to call this a blog any more as I don’t update it often enough. “It’s just a static site.”
I would respectfully invite that person to bite me.
As it happens, I have an absolute shit load of things to post, including not one, not two but three very exciting [...]

“With those words, this fifty-whatever-year-old married woman lunged at me. And I mean lunged, like a teenager on a park bench. I should make one thing absolutely clear: I am in no way proud of what I did in response. I sidestepped out of her way. Literally dived to one side; the poor woman almost [...]

Someone asked if I’d upload the video of me wearing my new monkey hat at the Digg drinks last week. Given that I’ve been too swamped today to write a proper blog post, I’m happy to oblige.
Qik video, as ever, by Zoe.

“‘Who wants a drink?’ shouted Calacanis over the hubbub. ‘My round. Paul?’ I ordered a dark rum on the rocks; Savannah the same, but with Coke. ‘Are you sure you don’t want a man’s drink, Paul?’ Oh yes, I thought, rum, the drink of choice for Hunter S. Thompson, Ernest Hemingway, pirates . . . [...]

“Do not fear unpopularity. The advantage of being widely disliked is that the few friends you have will be fiercely protective of you. They will take pride in defending you against the mob; it makes them feel noble and morally courageous. Paradoxically, one of the by-products of being almost universally loathed is that you attract [...]

At this exact moment, I’m supposed to be on a boat, sailing around Turkey.
I’m supposed to be sipping cocktails on the top deck of a yacht, under the scorching Turkish sun while hot girls scamper around in bikinis and Robert, Simon, Scott and Tom try to keep their hands to themselves.
And yet, and yet.
And yet, [...]

“Though I am flattered that Governor Palin has chosen to cite me as a source of wisdom, what I said had nothing to do with politics. This is yet another example of McCain and Palin distorting the truth, and all the more reason to remember that this campaign is not about gender, it is about [...]

Here’s a fun fact: I didn’t think anyone would read my book.
Can you imagine a more disingenuous statement from an egotist like me? That I didn’t think anyone would buy and read my brilliant, hilarious, insightful book? Please.
But it’s true. While I was writing The Book, my brain didn’t engage with the fact that at [...]

American readers - I do so hate to get all ‘Operation Clark County‘ on your ass but this is about thirty five types of brilliantly written, and 301 million types of important...

“Hello, Mr Carr?’ said the little Nazi, ‘I’m afraid there’s a serious problem with your hosting. At ten o’clock this morning we received a call from the Metropolitan Police’s Obscene Publications and Computer Crime Unit asking us to shut down your web server. Apparently one of your sites was offering advice on setting up a [...]